http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxd73i5omew
The above link is for my video blog on “grocer’s apostrophes,” which always make me want to drink wine. If you prefer to read a blog rather than watch it, 'tis all laid out for you below.
My absolute least favorite
pervasive grammar problem is the Grocer’s Apostrophe, which is “An
apostrophe erroneously inserted before the final "s" in the plural
form of a word.” (http://www.wordspy.com/words/greengrocersapostrophe.asp)
In an unsettling and
widespread pandemic, people everywhere have taken to putting apostrophes in
words to pluralize them. Here are some photos (or should I say “photo’s”)
of signs that use the skin-crawling Grocer’s Apostrophe:
“Pizza’s Kebabs Curry’s”
This sign is my
favorite. Somebody actually decided that more than one pizza or curry
demands an apostrophe, but somehow kebabs can roll without the extra character.
“If we’re ready to tackle swine flu, pig’s can
fly”
THIS IS FROM A PUBLISHED
NEWSPAPER, which, to me, just shows that this problem is perhaps more insidious
than the swine flu itself.
Kanye West Twitter: “This
one of our projects to be released this year called 2016 OLYMPIC's”
I decided to look for a
Grocer’s Apostrophe on a celeb Twitter page, and the FIRST page I looked at
revealed one to me immediately. Of course, I picked Kanye West, who says
that he doesn’t read because he can get all the education he needs from television,
so I mean it’s no big surprise. But the sad fact is that kids these days
(OMG I just said “kids these days.” I am becoming a mean old lady)
emulate people like Kanye West, so his grammar will become theirs. *she
drinks more wine*
Unlimited Food’s
This Grocer’s Apostrophe is
like 3 feet tall. Somebody spent A LOT OF MONEY on that sign.
Proofread much?
Deep Fried Oreo’s
I mean maybe we shouldn’t
be surprised that deep-fried-Oreo-lovers aren’t grammar mavens, but I
personally think we need to tackle this problem from the ground up.
*wine*
So, please spread the news
far and wide. WE DO NOT PLURALIZE WORDS BY ADDING AN APOSTROPHE IN
ENGLISH. An apostrophe indicates possession (something belongs to that
word) or contraction (the apostrophe indicates that some letters have been
omitted).
Example of how to use an apostrophe to indicate
possession: If you’re going to write the phrase “Deep Fried
Oreo’s,” you gotta immediately follow that word with something that belongs to
the oreo. Like maybe the Deep Fried Oreo’s ability to clog your arteries
on the spot?
Example of how to use an apostrophe as a
contraction: If you’re going to write the phrase “Unlimited
Food’s,” you best be ready to say that “Giving your pet fish unlimited food’s
only going to lead to a messy situation for you and the fish.”
I think we should take
markers with us wherever we go, and wipe out Grocer's Apostrophes wherever we
find them. We can call it "Grammarfiti." What you think?
Me loves you.
Mwwwwah.
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http://twitter.com/shadowswan
