Aww, snap. I
used to loooove jumping up on my grammar high horse when people said “I’m
really nauseous.” I’d tell those
people that they were in effect stating that they were disgusting enough to
make other people NAUSEATED.
Because, of course, we grammar sticklers think that the word “nauseous”
only means “causing nausea,” whereas the word “nauseated” means” “feeling nausea.” Well, we all need to take a deep breath
and apologize, because we’re wrong.
According to Merriam-Webster, the definitions of nauseous are:
1. causing nausea or
disgust : nauseating
2. affected with nausea or disgust
And M-W says: “Those who insist that nauseous can
properly be used only in sense 1 and that in sense 2 it is an error
for nauseated are mistaken.” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nauseous
Ok but one thing I will
not be shutting up about is how silly it makes you sound if you ever say
that you “could of” or “would of” or “should of” done something blah blah. There’s no such expression, so if you
say that you’re just playin’ yourself.
What you should HAVE said is
that you “could HAVE” or “would HAVE” done something. Or you can say “could’ve” or “should’ve.” This whole problem arises from the fact
that “could’ve” sounds phonetically like “could of,” but alas, phonetics have screwed
us again.
Even the Biebs got it wrong last week when he Tweeted, “i
could of sang to myself. it would of been like being in the shower.” Come on, little Biebs, best get back in
7th grade, or wherever you left
off. Rock Stardom ain’t makin’ you
smarter.
This, from the
“Business Insider: “Imagine your investment adviser
proposing a sweetened barbell portfolio…You would of likely canned the wacko
faster than they sold Nike stock last week.” http://www.businessinsider.com/the-ideal-portfolio-gold-sugar-bunds-and-francs-2012-7
I recommend that
you do not take business advice from someone who can’t speak proper
high-school-level English.
Here’s a T-Shirt you can buy, showing a picture of a Native
American and proclaiming, “If only we would of had immigration laws.” Even if
the writer had used the conditional perfect tense PROPERLY (i.e. “If only we
would have had…”), the sentence would still be all wrong, because you don’t use
conditional perfect tense with a past tense “if” clause. Only past perfect will
do here: “If only we had had immigration laws.”
But of course, I do hear what they’re saying. If the Native Americans had had
immigration policies, and refused us like we refuse so many immigrants now,
imagine how the world would be different.
We might have a big healthy ozone layer up there. Hard to say. Regardless, I just don’t think it’s
fair to put such bad grammar in the mouths of this continent's first
inhabitants. Kind of makes
me nauseous.
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