Click the link above for my VIDEO BLOG about how you CAN be nauseous, but you best not say you “would of” done anything. Ever.
If you prefer to read a blog rather than watch it, here you go:
I used to loooove jumping up on my grammar high horse when people said “I’m really nauseous.” I’d tell those people that they were in effect stating that they were disgusting enough to make other people NAUSEATED. Because, of course, we grammar sticklers think that the word “nauseous” only means “causing nausea,” whereas the word “nauseated” means” “feeling nausea.” Well, we all need to take a deep breath and apologize, because we’re wrong. According to Merriam-Webster, the definitions of nauseous are:
1. causing nausea or disgust : nauseating
2. affected with nausea or disgust
And M-W says: “Those who insist that nauseous can properly be used only in sense 1 and that in sense 2 it is an error for nauseated are mistaken.” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nauseous
Ok but one thing I will not be shutting up about is how silly it makes you sound if you ever say that you “could of” or “would of” or “should of” done something blah blah. There’s no such expression, so if you say that you’re just playin’ yourself. What you should HAVE said is that you “could HAVE” or “would HAVE” done something. Or you can say “could’ve” or “should’ve.” This whole problem arises from the fact that “could’ve” sounds phonetically like “could of,” but alas, phonetics have screwed us again.
Even the Biebs got it wrong last week when he Tweeted, “i could of sang to myself. it would of been like being in the shower.” Come on, little Biebs, best get back in 7th grade, or wherever you left off. Rock Stardom ain’t makin’ you smarter.
This, from the “Business Insider: “Imagine your investment adviser proposing a sweetened barbell portfolio…You would of likely canned the wacko faster than they sold Nike stock last week.” http://www.businessinsider.com/the-ideal-portfolio-gold-sugar-bunds-and-francs-2012-7
I recommend that you do not take business advice from someone who can’t speak proper high-school-level English.
Here’s a T-Shirt you can buy, showing a picture of a Native American and proclaiming, “If only we would of had immigration laws.” Even if the writer had used the conditional perfect tense PROPERLY (i.e. “If only we would have had…”), the sentence would still be all wrong, because you don’t use conditional perfect tense with a past tense “if” clause. Only past perfect will do here: “If only we had had immigration laws.”
But of course, I do hear what they’re saying. If the Native Americans had had immigration policies, and refused us like we refuse so many immigrants now, imagine how the world would be different. We might have a big healthy ozone layer up there. Hard to say. Regardless, I just don’t think it’s fair to put such bad grammar in the mouths of this continent's first inhabitants. Kind of makes me nauseous.
Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/ShadowSwan
Shadow Swans website: www.shadowswans.com
Buy Shadow Swans for 99 cents and make Laura rich: http://www.amazon.com/Shadow-Swans-ebook/dp/B0056C414I