My favorite Paleo, Low-FODMAP breakfast: Sweet Potato Porridge

For a long time I struggled with what to eat for breakfast, because I can’t bear to start the day with something that will give me stomach pain. So I ate rice cereal and berries with almond milk, but then after that (not very nutritious) heavy-carb breakfast, I’d experience an energy crash every afternoon. Fortunately, my fabulous nutritionist Sarah Kennedy (message me if you want her info) suggested that I make myself some kind of sweet potato porridge, so I invented one that I love so much I’d be happy to eat it for breakfast AND lunch every day. Sarah told me to pair this with turkey bacon or chicken sausage so that I’m getting plenty of protein, and my afternoon energy crash has totally disappeared. Here’s the recipe:

Sweet potato porridge

-1 cup of mashed sweet potato* (see the end of the recipe for easy cooking instructions)

-1 teaspoon of maple syrup

1/4 cup berries (any kind)

2 tbsp slivered almonds

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

a dash of nutmeg

1 teaspoon ground flax seeds

Mix it all together, then add enough hot water to make it a porridge-y texture. It is seriously the best thing ever! 

*For the mashed sweet potato: Quarter and boil a small potato for about 10 minutes, or until it’s soft all the way through when you poke it with a fork. When it’s soft, the skin peels off super easily. To avoid burning yourself, I suggest dribbling cold water over the potato as you peel it. You should be able to mash it easily with a fork.

Marshmallow root improved my IBS symptoms IMMEDIATELY – get on it!

Like many of you, I have trouble digesting about a million different foods. Aside from cutting out wheat and dairy and beans and onions and garlic and legumes and… [*she bangs her head on keyboard and passes out*], nothing I’ve tried has improved my symptoms. Unless I follow a STRICT low-FODMAP diet, I. Get. Painfully. Bloated. From. Every. F’ing. FOOD. And even when I go low-FODMAP, I often get stomach pain/bloating. For me, it’s like food=poison, and that is a major pain in my ass. 

I’ve tried every cure out there. Bone broth isn’t making any notable difference in my symptoms. I did L-Glutamine for a while ‘til I realized I was allergic to it (don’t go near that stuff if you have an MSG allergy). Deglycyrrhizinated licorice (I can’t believe I can spell that) does nothing for me. I hydrate constantly, I take probiotics, digestive enzymes, blah blah blah.

And then came the marshmallow. I’d heard that marshmallow root could also ease IBS symptoms (http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-774-marshmallow.aspx?activeingredientid=774&activeingredientname=marshmallow), but since NOTHING else worked for me I blew off the idea of trying marshmallow for a long time. Then a few weeks ago, infuriated by the chronic pain, I huffed my way to the herbalist and bought some powdered marshmallow root. She told me to mix a spoonful with a cup of water, let it sit for 5 minutes so that the powder could get all gooey, and then drink it down. And I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I experienced an IMMEDIATE difference. Each morning for the past 3 weeks I have drunk down a cup of gloppy marshmallow water (which, by the way, has very little taste at all), and each day thereafter I have had no stomach pain.

Apparently, marshmallow root helps to soothe and repair the gut lining. There haven’t been too many studies exploring this interaction, but one study recently confirmed that marshmallow eased irritated mucous membranes (http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/herb/marshmallow).

Now, it’s not like I’m suddenly eating bread and cheese and experiencing no stomach pain. I still avoid ALL high-FODMAP foods. If I break that pattern I’m back in bed clutching my tummy. I still can’t eat broccoli and hummus and all the other high-FODMAP foods that piss off my lower gut. But before the marshmallow, even low-FODMAP foods were giving me some pain/bloating. So, for me, this is a major quality of life improvement. At least I can eat food without feeling like I’ve poisoned myself.

I’m telling you, this marshmallow root thing is AMAZING. You should try it.  

What to eat on a Low-FODMAP diet: Upside-Down Quinoa Pizza recipe

I just invented The. Most. Delicious gluten-free, dairy-free, low-FODMAP recipe. I'm calling it Upside-Down Quinoa Pizza. I am eating it now and I love it so much I literally can't stuff it into my face fast enough. Here 'tis:

1.25 cup cooked quinoa
2 large eggs
Juice from 1/2 of a lemon, squeezed
1/2 cup fresh basil, chopped
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp dried crushed oregano
1 cup diced cooked chicken sausage (you could substitute mozzarella cheese or just try it vegan if you want)
1/2 cup diced zucchini (sometimes I use a full cup if I'm feeling veggie-needy)
salt to taste
Organic crushed tomato sauce (I used about 1/2 cup?)
Big handful of spinach

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Mix together all ingredients except crushed tomato sauce and spinach
3. Spread crushed tomato sauce on the bottom of a 9X9 baking dish
4. Spread chopped spinach over it until the spinach makes a full layer
5. Spread quinoa mixture over that
4. Bake for 45 minutes (until it's browned and solid to the touch on top)

Let me know how it is! I'm also open to suggestions. xo

Video Blog: Grocer's Apostrophes Make Me Want To Drink Wine

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxd73i5omew

The above link is for my video blog on “grocer’s apostrophes,” which always make me want to drink wine. If you prefer to read a blog rather than watch it, 'tis all laid out for you below.

My absolute least favorite pervasive grammar problem is the Grocer’s Apostrophe, which is “An apostrophe erroneously inserted before the final "s" in the plural form of a word.” (http://www.wordspy.com/words/greengrocersapostrophe.asp)

In an unsettling and widespread pandemic, people everywhere have taken to putting apostrophes in words to pluralize them.  Here are some photos (or should I say “photo’s”) of signs that use the skin-crawling Grocer’s Apostrophe:

“Pizza’s Kebabs Curry’s” 

http://jakartass.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Pizzas1.jpg

This sign is my favorite.  Somebody actually decided that more than one pizza or curry demands an apostrophe, but somehow kebabs can roll without the extra character.

“If we’re ready to tackle swine flu, pig’s can fly”

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8C0Jtob5KUdQP13fOqApXX_5epxZqvQB62aen8eWsp4koAq0IKPRpPsIkZSqH_ihfBPcj_59iF_U3rd-KwnXHG5drzQ-gMkhYyWVh_F9k76LkI6b7HTBk06xeGBa2KA66pvB6JL1eWQLK/s1600/apostrophe+DM.jpg

THIS IS FROM A PUBLISHED NEWSPAPER, which, to me, just shows that this problem is perhaps more insidious than the swine flu itself.

Kanye West Twitter: “This one of our projects to be released this year called 2016 OLYMPIC's”

https://twitter.com/kanyewest

I decided to look for a Grocer’s Apostrophe on a celeb Twitter page, and the FIRST page I looked at revealed one to me immediately.  Of course, I picked Kanye West, who says that he doesn’t read because he can get all the education he needs from television, so I mean it’s no big surprise.  But the sad fact is that kids these days (OMG I just said “kids these days.”  I am becoming a mean old lady) emulate people like Kanye West, so his grammar will become theirs.  *she drinks more wine* 

Unlimited Food’s

http://farm5.staticflickr.com/4102/4867339284_5179db9ff6_z.jpg

This Grocer’s Apostrophe is like 3 feet tall.  Somebody spent A LOT OF MONEY on that sign.  Proofread much?

Deep Fried Oreo’s

http://sidesalad.net/archives/DeepFriedOreos.JPG

I mean maybe we shouldn’t be surprised that deep-fried-Oreo-lovers aren’t grammar mavens, but I personally think we need to tackle this problem from the ground up. 

*wine*

So, please spread the news far and wide.  WE DO NOT PLURALIZE WORDS BY ADDING AN APOSTROPHE IN ENGLISH.  An apostrophe indicates possession (something belongs to that word) or contraction (the apostrophe indicates that some letters have been omitted).

Example of how to use an apostrophe to indicate possession: If you’re going to write the phrase “Deep Fried Oreo’s,” you gotta immediately follow that word with something that belongs to the oreo.  Like maybe the Deep Fried Oreo’s ability to clog your arteries on the spot? 

Example of how to use an apostrophe as a contraction: If you’re going to write the phrase “Unlimited Food’s,” you best be ready to say that “Giving your pet fish unlimited food’s only going to lead to a messy situation for you and the fish.” 

I think we should take markers with us wherever we go, and wipe out Grocer's Apostrophes wherever we find them.  We can call it "Grammarfiti."  What you think?    

Me loves you.  Mwwwwah.

Follow me on Twitter yo!  http://twitter.com/shadowswan

www.shadowswans.com

Video Blog: You CAN be nauseous, but never say you “would of” done anything.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7w_G2vONr1c
Click the link above for my VIDEO BLOG about how you CAN be nauseous, but you best not say you “would of” done anything.  Ever. 

If you prefer to read a blog rather than watch it, here you go:

I used to loooove jumping up on my grammar high horse when people said “I’m really nauseous.”  I’d tell those people that they were in effect stating that they were disgusting enough to make other people NAUSEATED.  Because, of course, we grammar sticklers think that the word “nauseous” only means “causing nausea,” whereas the word “nauseated” means” “feeling nausea.”  Well, we all need to take a deep breath and apologize, because we’re wrong.  According to Merriam-Webster, the definitions of nauseous are:
1.  causing nausea or disgust : nauseating
2.  affected with nausea or disgust

And M-W says: “Those who insist that nauseous can properly be used only in sense 1 and that in sense 2 it is an error for nauseated are mistaken.” http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/nauseous

Ok but one thing I will not be shutting up about is how silly it makes you sound if you ever say that you “could of” or “would of” or “should of” done something blah blah.  There’s no such expression, so if you say that you’re just playin’ yourself.  What you should HAVE said is that you “could HAVE” or “would HAVE” done something.  Or you can say “could’ve” or “should’ve.”  This whole problem arises from the fact that “could’ve” sounds phonetically like “could of,” but alas, phonetics have screwed us again. 

Even the Biebs got it wrong last week when he Tweeted, “i could of sang to myself. it would of been like being in the shower.”  Come on, little Biebs, best get back in 7th  grade, or wherever you left off.  Rock Stardom ain’t makin’ you smarter. 
https://twitter.com/justinbieber/status/216914335061118976 

This, from the “Business Insider: “Imagine your investment adviser proposing a sweetened barbell portfolio…You would of likely canned the wacko faster than they sold Nike stock last week.” http://www.businessinsider.com/the-ideal-portfolio-gold-sugar-bunds-and-francs-2012-7
I recommend that you do not take business advice from someone who can’t speak proper high-school-level English. 

http://www.freakyts.com/siteimages/IF%20WE%20ONLY%20WOULD%20OF%20HAD%20IMMIGRATION%20LAWS.jpg
Here’s a T-Shirt you can buy, showing a picture of a Native American and proclaiming, “If only we would of had immigration laws.” Even if the writer had used the conditional perfect tense PROPERLY (i.e. “If only we would have had…”), the sentence would still be all wrong, because you don’t use conditional perfect tense with a past tense “if” clause. Only past perfect will do here: “If only we had had immigration laws.” 

But of course, I do hear what they’re saying.  If the Native Americans had had immigration policies, and refused us like we refuse so many immigrants now, imagine how the world would be different.  We might have a big healthy ozone layer up there.  Hard to say.  Regardless, I just don’t think it’s fair to put such bad grammar in the mouths of this continent's first inhabitants.   Kind of makes me nauseous.  


Follow me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/ShadowSwan
Shadow Swans website: www.shadowswans.com
Buy Shadow Swans for 99 cents and make Laura rich: http://www.amazon.com/Shadow-Swans-ebook/dp/B0056C414I  

I'm Not Avoiding Bread Just To Be Trendy

Recently I was at brunch with some friends, and I couldn’t find anything on the menu that was gluten-free and dairy-free. I ended up ordering two scrambled eggs and a piece of bacon, because those were my only choices.

One of my friends rolled his eyes and said, “The 1950’s called – they want their breakfast back.” He drilled me with questions – do you have celiac? No? Then, what would REALLY happen to you if you ate a piece of French toast? 

I explained that I’d get a stomachache that would last the rest of the day and into tomorrow. I explained that my stomach would swell up like I’m 4 months pregnant. I also explained that I really didn’t want to go into detail most of the symptoms I’d experience, because Mama taught me not to talk about toilet problems when I’m sitting at the table (but here's a hint - it involves a lot of blood). 

My friend vaguely accepted my explanation, but I could tell that he was thinking, “Whatever, she’s just being dramatic.” 

I’d like to explain something to those of you who do not have food allergies or intolerances: it is not fun to suffer food intolerances. Those of us who are high-maintenance-orderers in restaurants aren’t trying to be trendy. Personally, I find myself outrageously annoying when I’m in a restaurant asking what ingredients are in every dish. 

I wish I could go back to my old life in which I drank Dr. Pepper and at potato chips every day, and I ordered French toast with reckless abandon (and, ahem, I never gained a pound – those days have also tragically ended). But that’s never gonna happen. 

And it’s not just that I can’t eat dairy or gluten. I can’t eat onions or garlic or beans or a million other gas-producing things if I don’t want to suffer chronic pain. I don’t want my whole body to be so itchy that I am up all night scratching. And believe me, you don’t want to be in a room with me for too long if I’ve eaten onions or garlic or beans. And I don’t really want to be in a room with me for too long either. 

Those of us with food allergies can’t just relax and enjoy going out to restaurants like we used to. When we go out to dinner, we think, “Okay, I’ll be miserable afterward for a day or two, but I really want to go on this date,” or, “I really have to go to this work function and not question the menu,” or, “I haven’t seen these friends in two years so I’m going to eat whatever they cook for me…” We brace ourselves for the painful after-effects of eating something as simple as a piece of sautéed fish in butter. And before we take a single bite of the fish, we reach under the beautiful white tablecloth to pull out two Lactaid pills so that at least we don’t end up with cramps before we even get home. We leave Lactaid pill wrappers strewn across the tablecloth like little paper carcasses. And we hope that this time, the after-effects won't be so bad that we debate whether we need go to the hospital.

If you don’t have food intolerances, you are lucky. Immeasurably lucky. Enjoy it. The rest of us are watching you eat a piece of bread and secretly salivating. We wish we could be you. But we can’t. So please, give us a break, and don’t roll your eyes when we order nothing but two scrambled eggs and a piece of bacon.

TED Talk by Dr. Terry Wahls, who cured her M.S. through diet

Have you guys watched Dr. Terry Wahls’ TED Talk? She was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis about a decade ago, and became bed-bound within 8 years. Then she CURED her M.S. through diet. Now she rides a bike. It’s mind-blowing and totally inspiring. Here’s the TED Talk:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLjgBLwH3Wc&feature=kp

She did this by eating NINE CUPS of vegetables every day, as well as fish and grass-fed meats. Dr. Wahls says that these foods help keep mitochondria healthy, and mitochondria are apparently where it’s at for total health.

Basically Dr. Wahls’ diet is paleo, but it’s so prescriptive that I find it easy to follow. She breaks down which veggies/fruits/meats are the best to eat. I was so inspired by this TED Talk that I immediately shoved a carrot and a bowl of spinach into my mouth, and I am not one to just throw down with some raw vegetables.

I’m curious if anyone has followed Dr. Wahls’ diet…?

Update to first blog post about low FODMAP diet, with additional links/resources

Hi!  Since a lot of you still access my original blog post about the FODMAP diet (which eliminates up to 80% of IBS symptoms), I've updated that post to contain additional links/research/resources.  Hope it helps:
http://laurabama.blogspot.com/2013/01/low-fodmaps-diet-that-changed-my-ibs.html

xo

Follow-up to previous blog post: here's my "These Movies Shoulda Won Oscars" list from LAST YEAR.

As a follow up to my previous post, here's my "These Movies Shoulda Won Oscars" list from LAST YEAR.

BEST PICTURE:

WINNER - "Beasts of the Southern Wild" – every moment of this film was luminous and unique.  Nothing compared to it.  Not even Lincoln, which comes a close second in my book.

"Silver Linings Playbook"

"Zero Dark Thirty"

"Lincoln"

"Les Miserables" – admittedly, I haven’t seen this.  Anne Hathaway’s mouth is just too much for me.

"Django Unchained"

"Argo" – great film, but not as good as Lincon and Beasts. 

Additional nominee: Moonrise Kingdom.  Duh.  How did this not get any major nominations?
NOTE: I removed "Amour" from this list. Finally saw this and hated it. Too much of a beating. I also remove "Life of Pi." Visuals were beautiful, but that cheesy journalist subplot ruined the story for me. 

BEST ACTOR

WINNER - Daniel Day Lewis, "Lincoln" – this one has to be a tie.  In my own Oscars, I can have ties!  That’s one of the benefits of having my own Oscars!  I can’t pick between these two exquisite performances.

WINNER - Joaquin Phoenix, "The Master"

Denzel Washington, "Flight"

Hugh Jackman, "Les Miserables"

Bradley Cooper, "Silver Linings Playbook"

Additional nominees: the kid from Moonrise Kingdom, and and Ed Norton.

BEST ACTRESS

WINNER - Naomi Watts, "The Impossible" – Also a tie!!!  Jennifer L was good, But Naomi and Quvenzhane were brillz.

WINNER - Quvenzhané Wallis, "Beasts of the Southern Wild" – This little girl gave me chills for two hours straight.

Jessica Chastain, "Zero Dark Thirty"

Jennifer Lawrence, "Silver Linings Playbook"

Emmanuelle Riva, "Amour"

Additional nominee: the girl from Moonrise Kingdom.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

WINNER - Tommy Lee Jones, "Lincoln"- the others were all incredible, but Tommy was epic.

Christoph Waltz, "Django Unchained"

Philip Seymour Hoffman, "The Master"

Robert De Niro, "Silver Linings Playbook"

Alan Arkin, "Argo"

Best Supporting Actress:

WINNER - Jackie Weaver, "Silver Linings Playbook" – brilliant performance.  And Sally Field was just too old to play Mrs. Lincoln.  Amy Adams was annoying as always.  And I can’t look at Anne Hathaway’s mouth for too long.  Helen Hunt was brillz in The Sessions, so that would’ve been my second choice. 

Sally Field, "Lincoln"

Anne Hathaway, "Les Miserables"

Helen Hunt, "The Sessions"

Amy Adams, "The Master"

Best Director:

WINNER - Steven Spielberg, "Lincoln" – let’s give this man some credit for making a timeless film.

David O. Russell, "Silver Linings Playbook"

Ang Lee, "Life of Pi"

Michael Haneke, "Amour"

Benh Zeitlin, "Beasts of the Southern Wild"

Laura's list of movies that SHOULD have won (and been nominated for) Oscars

In an effort to recognize the ACTUAL best movies of the year (instead of the ones voted on by a bunch of Hollywood insider BFFs), here are my (entirely reasonable) opinions about which movies SHOULD have won Oscars:

BEST PICTURE
Winner: Tie! Because it’s my list and I can pick whomever I want:
12 Years a Slave
Gravity
Short Term 12

Nominees:
-Short-term 12 (best movie you didn’t see this year. Better than most you DID see)
-Captain Phillips
-Dallas Buyers Club
-Gravity
-Nebraska (haven’t seen it, but I’ll believe all the reviews
-12 Years a Slave
-Blue is the Warmest Color (it’s absurd that this Palme d’Or winner wasn’t nominated); Hunger Games -Catching Fire
-Prisoners

Note: It’s infuriating that movies like Short Term 12 and Blue is the Warmest Color don’t get nominated, and cliché overlong movies like Wolf of Wall Street (which was fine, but poorly edited) do. I removed Wolf from my list, and also American Hustle, which was a good/fun movie, but not groundbreaking in my opinion. Oh and I removed Her, which I found interesting and beautiful but also tedious and I wanted it to end as soon as possible. Also, I realize that Catching Fire was a ridiculous addition to the list, but I loved every. second. of it. And it's my list.


BEST ACTOR
Winner:
Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club

Nominees: -Christian Bale, American Hustle
-Bruce Dern, Nebraska
-Matthew McConaughey, Dallas Buyers Club
-Chiwetel Ejiofor, 12 Years a Slave
-Michael B. Jordan, Fruitvale Station (haven’t seen it, but I’m going on reviews of how fabulous he is)
-Oscar Isaac, Inside Llewyn Davis

Note: Nobody approached Matthew M. in my opinion. I took Leo off this list too. He was good, but didn’t he just play a different version of the same role in Gatsby? Also, I can’t believe Oscar Isaac didn’t get a nod for Llewyn Davis.


BEST ACTRESS
Winner: Tie:
Meryl Streep, August: Osage County

Brie Larson, Short Term 12

Sandy Bullock, Gravity

Adele Exarchopoulos, Blue is the Warmest Color

Nominees: Brie Larson, Short Term 12
-Cate Blanchett, Blue Jasmine
-Sandra Bullock, Gravity
-Judi Dench, Philomena
-Meryl Streep, August: Osage County
-Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Enough Said
-Adele Exarchopoulos, Blue is the Warmest Color

Note: Meryl, Brie and Adele were heartbreakingly good in their roles. And although Sandy’s performance didn’t have the gravitas of Meryl’s, Adele’s, or Brie’s, she had to literally dance on a 12-point harness through the entire movie Gravity, which deserves major recognition. Cate Blanchett was amazing but overdirected, just like almost every actor in almost every movie by Woody Allen. I removed Amy Adams, who was fine but not groundbreaking. I’ve seen her play similar characters before. Also, in addition to Brie and Adele, I added Julia Louis-Dreyfuss and to this list.  Best I've seen her.


BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Winner: Tie:
Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club, and Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips

Nominees: 
-Barkhad Abdi, Captain Phillips
-Michael Fassbender, 12 Years a Slave
-Jared Leto, Dallas Buyers Club
-John Gallagher, Short Term 12

Note: I took off the other nominees because I didn’t find them to be in a class with these three. I almost didn’t even let Abdi tie with Leto, but Abdi scared the crap out of me in Captain Phillips, so I’m giving him the golden statue.


BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Winner:
Lupita Nyong'o, 12 Years a Slave (obviously)

Nominees:
-Amy Adams, Her
-Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle
-Lupita Nyong'o, 12 Years a Slave
-Julia Roberts, August: Osage County
-June Squibb, Nebraska
-Lea Seydoux, Blue is the Warmest Color

Note: Let’s face it. Nobody but Lupita could’ve won.  Also, I've added the luminous Lea Seydoux and and Amy Adams to this list.  I actually liked Amy better in Her than in American Hustle.


HONORABLE MENTION CATEGORY:Winners: Everybody wins!
-Mud
-Kings of Summer
-The East
-American Hustle
Note: These are movies I didn’t nominate for Best Movie even though I loved them. I give them all happy faces. :)

Cool stuff: dogs CAN understand you, mini-skirts are illegal in Uganda, and people been eating popcorn for 4,000 years. Plus a happy video.

Hi friends.  Some cool articles from the week, and a happy video that will make you cry in case you’re in the mood to get out some emotion: 

First, the happy video.  Nothing like strangers helping needy kids to pull at the heartstrings:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/19/norwegians-boy-without-jacket_n_4815716.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Now the articles:

It’s no surprise to dog owners, but this is cool nonetheless: research indicates that your dog may understand the emotions in your voice, leading to a greater understanding of what you’re saying:

http://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-26276660

People ate popcorn 4,000 years ago: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thesalt/2014/02/27/283307934/popcorn-common-snack-helped-to-build-empires

You’re not allowed to wear miniskirts in Uganda:

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-26351087

Bye now. Happy weekend. 

What's the science behind our love of chocolate? And how good is your English vocabulary?

Hi!  No time to write a substantial blog post this week, but here's a cool video about the science behind why we love chocolate:

http://www.scientificamerican.com/video/why-do-we-love-chocolate/

And here's a cool website that tests your knowledge of English vocabulary.  Seems like a lotta smart people aren't getting above about 81%!
http://vocabulary.ugent.be/wordtest/start

You are all cute.  xo

Um, how did I not know that there should be ONE space after a period instead of TWO?

So it turns out that all my self-righteous grammar rants have been riddled with syntactical errors. I've just learned that I'm supposed to use ONE space after a period instead of TWO. Somewhere along the way I was taught to use two spaces after a period and I stuck to that, but, oopsie, it's all wrong.

Here's an overview of this subject from an expert:
Chicago Manual of Style: "The view at CMOS is that there is no reason for two spaces after a period in published work. Some people, however—my colleagues included—prefer it, relegating this preference to their personal correspondence and notes. I’ve noticed in old American books printed in the few decades before and after the turn of the last century (ca. 1870–1930 at least) that there seemed to be a trend in publishing to use extra space (sometimes quite a bit of it) after periods. And many people were taught to use that extra space in typing class (I was). But introducing two spaces after the period causes problems: (1) it is inefficient, requiring an extra keystroke for every sentence; (2) even if a program is set to automatically put an extra space after a period, such automation is never foolproof; (3) there is no proof that an extra space actually improves readability—as your comment suggests, it’s probably just a matter of familiarity (Who knows? perhaps it’s actually more efficient to read with less regard for sentences as individual units of thought—many centuries ago, for example in ancient Greece, there were no spaces even between words, and no punctuation); (4) two spaces are harder to control for than one in electronic documents (I find that the earmark of a document that imposes a two-space rule is a smattering of instances of both three spaces and one space after a period, and two spaces in the middle of sentences); and (5) two spaces can cause problems with line breaks in certain programs." http://www.chicagomanualofstyle.org/qanda/data/faq/topics/OneSpaceorTwo.html

And this article lays out opinions from various other experts:
"Every modern typographer agrees on the one-space rule."http://www.slate.com/articles/technology/technology/2011/01/space_invaders.html 

I am so married to the post-period two-space that I absentmindedly used two spaces after every period in this very blog post. I had to go back and edit them down. My head is exploding.

Gluten Intolerance – the confusing delay in symptoms

It took me forever to figure out, and then accept, that I have a non-Celiac gluten intolerance.   And I’m not alone.  About 5% of the population has gluten intolerance, and only a fraction of those people have Celiac.  The rest of us struggled along for years eating bread here and there, trying to figure out if we always felt like crap after eating bread, or if maybe our symptoms were related to something else we ate.  One of the reasons it can be so hard to “swallow” the idea that you might be gluten-intolerant is that the symptoms don’t necessarily come immediately after eating wheat.  Sometimes symptoms don’t occur until as much as 2 or 3 days after consuming wheat. 

If you eat a piece of bread and feel fine until the next evening, you’re more likely to blame your symptoms on whatever you ate for lunch on the day you started feeling bad.  But if you keep a food journal you can track whether your symptoms always come after you’ve eaten wheat. 

What are the symptoms of gluten intolerance?

-Bloating and stomach cramps
-Diarrhea, flatulence, constipation
-Tiredness, lethargy
-Headaches, memory problems
-Depression and anxiety
-Frequent illnesses such as colds and bacterial infections
-Joint and inflammation problems
-Eczema, itching, dandruff

Note that when you give up gluten it can take a couple of days to get relief from symptoms.  But once the gluten starts leaving your system your body will experience dramatic reductions in the symptoms.

Some good resources to check out:

http://www.foodintol.com/wheat-gluten-sensitivity/gluten-intolerance-symptoms

http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20120220/gluten-sensitivity-fact-or-fad?page=2

http://gluten.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/allergies-and-intol-06-2011.pdf

Dog-to-English translator, and life on Mars

In case you haven't learned anything interesting this week, here's something cool you can tell your friends:

A group of Scandinavian scientists are developing a translator that will read your dog's thoughts and tell you what he/she is thinking:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-25559116

Also, 1,000 candidates have been selected from amongst 200,000 applicants to be tested to see if they're fit enough--mentally and physically--to receive a ONE-WAY trip to Mars in 2025:
http://news.yahoo.com/mission-shortlists-over-thousand-candidates-life-mars-163024347--sector.html